‘Women’s Day’, Let’s start with celebrating ourselves

Rolling up gulab jamuns to perfection is somewhat therapeutic. The amount of patience and perseverance required for the same can calm down a chaotic mind or turn an utterly sane person insane. Nonetheless, whether chaotic or therapeutic, for me it entirely depends on my current mood. Well, it was healing today, as the profound process drowned my thoughts to the upcoming Women’s Day – the celebration of womanhood.

March 8 is celebrated as Women’s Day, and just like many other women my WhatsApp too buzzes with quite a few Women’s Day messages. Be informed that it is this occasion for which the gulab jamuns are being rolled up. 

I am preparing for the feast to celebrate this very day because Peter Parker is fond of gulab jamuns. So, the woman works, cooks, drives herself to the levels of insanity and celebrates too. Hallelujah!  Women’s Day indeed. But, the word which has caught my attention today was ‘Feminism.‘

Basically, Feminism is this ‘set of ideologies and movements’ which help women achieve equality and equal rights in all strata of society.

It was meant for empowering the women, but one thing which never made sense to me was – if it’s about fighting against the wrong, then women are not the only species inflicted by it. The whole human race, or should I say even the animals are the victims of ill-treatment. Wrong is wrong, irrespective of the sufferer’s gender, race or breed. If it’s the equality we are focussing on then let’s get the basics right first. 

Moreover, as far as empowering goes, how could anyone imagine empowering the powerhouses of strength, patience, and perseverance?  Even Thesaurus may fall short of adjectives that define ‘woman.’ But then, we women have a weird habit of turning every single adjective into a pejorative. When someone says you look good today, we would respond, “Today? No way!  I haven’t even applied a basic lipstick, and I look totally worn out and tired.” Whether it’s our modesty which comes to play here or the lack of confidence, I never understood. And this hyped importance which we place for compliments or validation for physical attributes. 

Why not take pride in that amazing meal you cook, or the piece of art you make, or the invaluable lessons you impart to your kids? ‘Kardashians’ maybe huge, but why skimming should be the only threshold to validate?, No?!

You need to ask yourself that.

The red color dress a woman is wearing or the speculations on the length of her outfit, her modest hijab or her curves sheathed in a see-through chiffon saree; we women often pass judgments on each other thereby paving the way for others to do the same. If we have been classified as the weaker sex, dependant, or damsel in distress types, then somewhere we are responsible for these qualifiers ourselves. Probably, it’s high time that we need to self reflect as to why we encouraged this term ‘Feminism’ to be formed in the first place. 

A few answers to the questions, which we need to ask ourselves:

• Why have we boxed ourselves up in specific rules and norms set by a few random people or so called ‘Society’? I wouldn’t call them society. Society is what we should form of our own with free will. 
• Why have we set up a few prototypes for ourselves?

• Since when did being fair and having a tiny waist become the standards of measuring beauty?
• Why are the homemakers not taken into account as working women?  
• Since when has a bikini become a symbol of liberation, and hijab that of oppression? 

A red lipstick, a bra strap, a short skirt, a veil over your head, a saree revealing your midriff, being wanderlust, confining yourself to your house, a pilot tasting the clouds, a homemaker prioritising her home, hitting the gym and getting that apparent hot bod or just giving in to the luring delicacies and getting that satisfied gut, be it anything; if you feel right about it, go for it. If you feel wrong, then don’t. Isn’t it the 21st century already?

To set things right for a few issues that we have created for ourselves, we must start with making the choices for our own good, and then with changing our approach to our own self and other fellow women. Let’s have each other’s back. Let’s be each other’s support system. Let’s respect each other’s decisions and choices. Let’s not be the drains, sucking each other’s strength. Then, we can show our fellow species, the formidable force and power that we possess. And no, we don’t need any kind of empowerment.

One peculiar trait I had noticed the past few years as & when women’s day approaches other than the huge discounts on my favorite lingerie brand is the discounted approach of us women towards this day.

It’s this nonchalant approach & belittling the importance of women’s day with oodles of sarcasm and making a mockery of every single thing associated with it including the discounts.

On a tad serious note this one day where apparently Women are remembered, cherished, appreciated, validated, respected has not come easy. We have struggled, fought, Survived, gone through & put up with truckloads of shit to get here. While Nirbhaya had to wait eons for justice, the Hathras victims are still waiting. It took the 21st century for Kamala Harris to become the first Female Vice president. From peeking out at the world from our mother’s womb to getting respectful last rites, it’s a battle zone. Every single day we eat up words, we put up a fight for just about a basic right of education, expression & often life. So the least we can do is celebrate this hard-earned day, celebrate each other & celebrate ourselves!

If a beautiful woman delights the eye, a wise woman empowers the wisdom, and a pure one enlightens the soul. Let’s show the world we can be all of these rolled into one. 

So, as my J28 lures me to wear it, my head confirms that my waist has gone up by two notches. My mind gifts me a flashback of that wonderful day, which brought me life’s best gift ever – my boy, my incredible Peter Parker. This amazing body of mine, which has now gone out of the apparent proportion a little, and despite being churned out over time, had been the safe dwelling for my baby. I was filled with so much pride, instantly.

So, in no time I arrived at my decision for the day. ‘Gulab jamuns‘; J28 can wait. Women’s day it is after all, and it calls for gulab jamuns unquestionably. All we would need from our fellow species ‘Men’ is a better understanding and acceptance may be. And, about the rest; well, let our choices speak louder for a change.

Happy Women’s Day ladies! And to all men ‘Happy women to you!’.